he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
