her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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