Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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