I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
