Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
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