You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
