He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
