look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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