IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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