Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
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