Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
