I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
