we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
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