I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
