Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
it was like his penis was on wheels.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
