So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
