Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize