Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
