i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
