I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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