we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
