No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
