so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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