evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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