I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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