Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
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you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
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