I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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