I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
foreskin is a definite game changer
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
