Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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