I met the friendliest cop last night
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
