did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
