I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My balls are so social today.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Randomize
