i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
