The maid of honor just puked.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You're breaking my sexual little heart
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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