You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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