he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
