Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
