Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
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i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
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You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize