physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
