you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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