I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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