He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
