I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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