super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
