I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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