we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
