Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
found the other keg... it's in the tree
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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