no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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