oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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