Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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