im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
