U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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