I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
