Will you blow on my dice?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
