8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
