Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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