I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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