Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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