My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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