You just made me feel so damn special
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
