new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
