You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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